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Topic: Gratefuls (Read 528 times) |
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Wildside
Senior Member
One who plants a garden plants happiness and hope.
Posts: 466
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 Every day first thing when I wake up I like to think of my gratefuls, the first 10 that pop into my mind -- even if they seem absurd -- all that matters is to develop an attitude of grattitude about my day.
I started this habit as part of a mental fitness plan for leading a charmed life. I figure I've spend so much of my earlier life's time on physical fitness to get the endorphins flowing and metabolism going, why not apply the same principles to get the happy juices flowing naturally on their own. It's especially good to do when I'm not feeling so charming as it tends to set my attitude right again and the whole day is better for it.
Be curious to know if you do this too and/or what some of yours are? Feel free to post them here!
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| « Last Edit: Nov 22nd, 2003, 4:39am by Wildside » |
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Cheers, from my backyard to yours! --Wildside
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Wildside
Senior Member
One who plants a garden plants happiness and hope.
Posts: 466
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #1 on: Nov 25th, 2003, 9:42am » |
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For today, a grateful quote!
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have
into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos
to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes
sense of our past, brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie
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Cheers, from my backyard to yours! --Wildside
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Wildside
Senior Member
One who plants a garden plants happiness and hope.
Posts: 466
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #2 on: Nov 26th, 2003, 9:52am » |
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 Does anyone else have this problem too? How do you deal to overcome it?
Sometimes I struggle with being envious of those who live a "better" lifestyle than me (spend more on niceities, aren't working at being frugal, and have things I just don't), especially those who I've helped out in some major way at a sacrifice to myself. I know this is a terrible thing, and I've got to work to get a grip in order to act mature and be thankful they are doing as well as they are (and I do recognize they will owe more $ in the long run order to have these "things" now... ). But still I struggle. I so want to be a better person... I don't want to be a pity party!
Anyone have experience with this?
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Cheers, from my backyard to yours! --Wildside
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KendraB225
Full Member
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 141
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #3 on: Nov 26th, 2003, 7:29pm » |
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Wildside,
That is something I struggle with too. Fortunately, I have never been into name brand cloths, jewelry, etc. But sometimes I do feel like we should spend more money on somethings. My mother thinks I should fix up my house. It is a big deal to her. They bought their house and have spent thousands of dollars redoing just about everything it in it. I plan to make some home improvements. But I think it is far more important to pay off our bills.
I try to avoid people that make me feel bad about the decisions that we have made. Sometimes it helps to think about the financial situation these people must be in.
Kendra
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| « Last Edit: Nov 26th, 2003, 7:30pm by KendraB225 » |
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Wildside
Senior Member
One who plants a garden plants happiness and hope.
Posts: 466
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #4 on: Nov 27th, 2003, 9:14am » |
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Thanksgiving Day '03 Gratefuls:
1. I am grateful I have a roof over my head, warm clothes to wear, and good food to eat.
2. I am grateful for a garden that is still producing despite the chill.
3. I am grateful for discovering the PFT web site and discussion group and meeting others dedicated to following similar paths.
4. I am grateful for people in my life and that they are doing well and the fact I can be happy to know I have had a little something to do with part of that and choose not to be envious.
5. I am grateful for big future plans to look forward to.
6. I am grateful for past experiences, good or bad.
7. I am grateful that some of the best things in life are still free.
8. I am grateful that everyday there is something new to learn.
9. I am grateful for a positive attitude.
10. I am grateful that this exercise truly works!
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| « Last Edit: Nov 27th, 2003, 10:01am by Wildside » |
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Cheers, from my backyard to yours! --Wildside
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Wildside
Senior Member
One who plants a garden plants happiness and hope.
Posts: 466
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #5 on: Nov 27th, 2003, 10:03am » |
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BTW, Kendra, thanks for sharing how you deal with "the little green monster" and that you struggle with it too -- I'll be thinking that over today...
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Cheers, from my backyard to yours! --Wildside
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Wildside
Senior Member
One who plants a garden plants happiness and hope.
Posts: 466
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #6 on: Nov 27th, 2003, 2:45pm » |
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Here's a quote I found re: this topic this morning, and it is something to think about too...
"A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy and nothing can stop him." -- Alexander Solzhenitsyn
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Cheers, from my backyard to yours! --Wildside
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Wildside
Senior Member
One who plants a garden plants happiness and hope.
Posts: 466
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #7 on: Nov 28th, 2003, 9:13am » |
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And this one I just remembered from Abraham Lincoln:
"A man is happy as he makes up his mind to be."
Sometimes I do feel powerless to be happy about something... But these quotes remind me that there are still choices to make. I have a responsibility to decide whether or not I view something as a positive or a negative, or how much focus is put on the unpleasant aspects of those things that may be beyond my control. Even if things are strictly unpleasant (and some things always are!), I can choose between being a passive bystander overwhelmed by negativity or try to find a way to be proactive about a problem I'm struggling with and not let it take over my entire mood about everything. If I am feeling bad, I shouldn't take it out on other people. So a challenge is to always try to put a positive spin on the negative! And wind up feeling better for it and healthier in the long run perhaps... 
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| « Last Edit: Nov 28th, 2003, 9:14am by Wildside » |
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Cheers, from my backyard to yours! --Wildside
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Wildside
Senior Member
One who plants a garden plants happiness and hope.
Posts: 466
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #8 on: Nov 28th, 2003, 9:50am » |
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Ah! The quotes keep coming! Here is one that responds to that last posting...
" Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well." -- Robert Louis Stevenson
Something else to think about!
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| « Last Edit: Nov 28th, 2003, 9:50am by Wildside » |
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Cheers, from my backyard to yours! --Wildside
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Lissa
Newbie
SDG shekinah
Posts: 11
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #9 on: Nov 29th, 2003, 4:40pm » |
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Wildside,
I know exactly what you're talking about in the struggle with envy. I posted on the entrepreneur site to your queries, but wanted to tell how much I empathize. I make really good money which is right now going to (A) a huge mortgage on our urban paradise (B) my husband's new business (C) our children's private high school tuition. We drive old paid-for cars and sometimes when I see moms driving really cool cars I get a little envious. I have to keep reminding myself that (A) our 2 acres in San Antonio are secluded and beautiful and we couldn't have it in the suburbs, (B) we really believe in our little science lab for kids, (C) our kids are getting a great education in a very small setting and we always know where they are and what they're doing.
I think the people who post on PTF have made really great choices based on conscience, instead of just "going with the flow" and throwing money here, there, and yon. Our goal is to pay off our land/house which is our only debt but is $268,000. Sometimes I feel like it'll never happen, especially with our kids starting college year after next.
Lissa
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Wildside
Senior Member
One who plants a garden plants happiness and hope.
Posts: 466
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #10 on: Nov 29th, 2003, 5:55pm » |
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I also sometimes wonder if my struggle is not only with envy, but with "smugness" (just that I won't admit it to myself). For many years I have played a game where when people have laughed at me (sometimes imagined, but some times not) for things like my old funky car and second-hand clothes, I've said to myself, "Well, at least mine are paid for and I'm on my way to a more secure future in the long run!" When my future husband-to-be met me and found out I actually did this in order to feel better about myself, he warned me that I needed to be careful not to be so smug. (?) A few years later, I'm afraid I still practice this technique, especially when I'm feeling a bit insecure.
Someone else pointed out that sometimes even so-called "friends", are envious because my life seems way too "charmed." (It certainly doesn't always feel that way; it does take risk and a lot of hard work to make it so! But since given the choice, I find I'd rather give the spin for a charmed life than not.) I guess this tidbit goes to show that envy is not a one-way street...
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| « Last Edit: Nov 30th, 2003, 5:17pm by Wildside » |
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Cheers, from my backyard to yours! --Wildside
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Wildside
Senior Member
One who plants a garden plants happiness and hope.
Posts: 466
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #11 on: Nov 30th, 2003, 8:59am » |
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Lissa, you say that sometimes you feel like your mortgage will never be paid off, but just by working towards that goal, plodding along, step by step -- we must have faith -- one day it will be!
Also, can your kids provide for at least some of their college costs? For me, I know it was difficult to pay my own way as I had to work a lot of jobs while attending classes (sometimes in lieu of classes -- not so good!), eat a lot of top ramen and often times lived in "sub-standard" housing -- and even so, still wound up with loans to pay off afterwards -- but out of that experience also came great learning and the knowledge that (most of the time at least!) I can take care of myself.
A quote I found earlier today by Samuel Smiles pertains to this:
"Great results cannot be achieved at once, and we must be satisfied to advance in life as we walk -- step by step."
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Cheers, from my backyard to yours! --Wildside
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Anais
Guest
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Wildside,
I'm glad you brought up that posting on "smugness" and "envy." I have a bit of the same problem... not that I envy a new car or new furniture - but I am envious of people who can afford organic cotton mattresses or electric cars. Either way you look at it, it's still envy.
Being content with what one has is quite a formidable challenge and a constant struggle. What's hard is that you could consider it "good envy." Now, who doesn't want eco-friendly, sustainable products that others have or that you see in catalogs such as Lehmans or Real Goods?
Another problem that I find is that people are always comparing themselves to us or telling us what they do or what they have accomplished beyond what we have done ... people like to analyze or nit pick those of us who "stick out"....
For example, here at PTF we are not saying we have all the right answers or living a completely eco-friendly, sustainable lifestyle ( we are on the path to this goal)
Some people we meet, oftentimes tell us what THEY are doing and point out what we are NOT. This brings out feelings of jealousy and anger. I have to remind myself, that perhaps I'm not yet sewing my own clothes out of organic cotton is because I am busy planting a garden, or knitting a sweater.
When they point out what we are not doing and lecture us what we should, I have to remind myself that indeed they are correct, but we aren't perfect and that this is an ongoing journey... and we'll get to the next 'bend in the road' soon enough. It is after all, one step at a time. We don't claim to have reached the end of our journey -- our journey will never end!
I'm tired of all this comparing and "better than you" attitude. People tell us how much we aren't doing when they really have to look back to see where we've come from.
I get frustrated, I so would like to change over certain aspects of our life: for instance replacing stainless steel with cast iron cookware, certain plastics with glass, organic towels, clothes, sheets (or buy MORE second-hand), reduce this, reuse this and on it goes. Many of the obstacles has to do with time and money.
I'm "jealous" of those who can afford to buy organic eco-friendly products - needing to be "rich" to afford such "luxuries."
I just think we should give ourselves and others a bit of "slack" so to speak - at least we've all started the journey, others may be ahead or behind but we are all on the same path...
Well, that's my two--cents for what it's worth.
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KendraB225
Full Member
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 141
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #13 on: Nov 30th, 2003, 2:20pm » |
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Anais,
I totally agree. It doesn't matter how far we are on the path to freedom. It only matters that we are constantly putting one foot in front of the other and making an effort. We can't compare ourselves to others because we all have different circumstances. I would love to do more toward self-sufficiency. But homeschooling my children is my first priority. Everything else will have to fit in around that.
Kendra
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sbdmom
Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 25
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Re: Gratefuls
« Reply #14 on: Nov 30th, 2003, 4:10pm » |
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Hi,
This is a complicated subject. Especially living in the city of Los Angeles..lol Its hard to remember to be grateful..theres a lot of competition out there reminding us that this "new car does this", "my house is this big"
" I make this $$$ per year" Many people we know have said to us they don't know we make it on so little $$" Somehow we do. It is way too easy to get sucked up into the envy mode though. Its much worse with kids...lol I want to be able to buy them all the things they want (kickback baggage from my own childhood..) on the other hand, teaching frugality and moderation is very important too. Hubby want (and gets ) a lot of cool electronic gadgets so of course the kiddos have those wants too. How are you supposed to teach gratitude in the first place..lol Kids only see that their friends have this or that and they don't. I guess it starts with me and maybe they will follow suit eventually. I am stuggling with this now thats its Christmas time with presents etc. It aslo helps to spend time with those who are like minded, or just from different backgrounds, ..share the thoughts of gratiude together keeps the ball rolling.
Jamie
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