Anal Sex is
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It all comes out in the end. anonymous |
Anal Sex
Men seem to have a one track mind and a huge desire to get into a womans behind. Is it all about being a "conquerer"; owning the women they are with totally and completely? Or is it more sinister; some hidden desire to humiliate and degrade? Or is it just something that men are curious about or have been told they can't do, and so want more than anything? Who knows... Men are impossible to figure out anyway. There is no denying that it is a top 10 item in most mens minds. So how can you handle the request, without hurting him or yourself and maybe even get some pleasure out of it for yourself?
Why would a woman be willing to have anal sex? Well..
- In a day and age were very few women are still virgins, giving up your ass to someone who you really care for is one of the only remaining ways to really show how much you are willing to give.
- Among the women who have been able to enjoy anal sex, many report that the orgasm is more intense. Some women who are not able to cum from regular sex find they are able to experience that joy from anal sex or a combination of the two. (think vibrator or dildo your pussy, and...)
- Women are more competitive then most wish to admit. Finding out that "Suzie" lets "Rick" take her in the ass can make you want to keep up with the "Johnson's". Or you might want to be the Ms. Johnson that others envy.
- Some guys are just so crazy about the idea that if you let them do it once, they might get over it... Or you might get into it! (beware! :^)
Preparation
Supplies
- Anal lube. As detailed below, do not try without this. And get a product that is specifically designed for anal sex, but avoid products that contain an ingredient to "numb" or "relax" the anus. You want to feel what is going on, and make sure it is a good feeling both now, and later, after any sedative has warn off.
- Wipes, washcloth, and/or towel. Although anal sex is mostly poo free, it's best to be ready...
- Time. Lots of time. Don't try unless you have at least an hour of guaranteed uninterrupted time available.
- A willing, respectful and gentle partner. Don't even think about trying this unless you trust your man to take it slow.
Play
First off, do NOT just let him slam it in "balls deep"! Slow and easy wins the day. Many men act like anal sex is the same as vaginal sex. They don’t wait for their partner to relax sufficiently – they just barge right in there. That can be really painful. After a few of those experiences it’s not surprising that many women get a bit skittish about it, particularly with a larger fellow.
But if a guy takes his time, the result can be wonderful: "He prepped, tongued, more less worked my ass for almost an hour. When we did finally engage in anal intercourse, it was great, and with in minutes I was begging him to fuck me harder!" - anon
Getting Hot
The most important part of preparation is relaxing and being horny. Doing both of those things at the same time is difficult, but very possible. Here are a few suggestions for getting in the ass sex mood:
- Have regular sex or masturbate first. Get out the immediate need, but then do something that keeps you excited and wanting more. Neck, fondle, bathe, talk, read erotic stories, or something nice.
- Take a hot shower or bath together. A nice bath with candles, flowers, bubbles and perhaps some gentle massage, genital massage, or just holding goes a long way toward building a romantic, trusting and warm (if not hot) feeling in the more feminine sorts.
- Talk about what is going to happen, taking it step by step and will all assurance that loving care will be observed. Communicate with regard to what turns you on and keep working on that horny, wanton, sexually ready feeling until it builds into a passion. Patience and persistence are critical.
"Be excited: Lots of lube and lots of foreplay. Once he's gotten you worked up enough...really....anything goes. the rest is all in your mind. relax, go slow and then soak in all the amazing sensations you will feel from head to toe!"
Lubrication
Next, some form of lubrication is absolutely required. Although spit or a wet pussy is often used and all you will see in the standard porno film, it isn't going to work well here. That anus, no matter how clean, does have things in it that do not belong in a vagina, and you are going to need more and more lube so you don't want to be "double dipping" from anus to vagina and back. Spit is not a very good lubricant and will often leave the anus sore afterwards which makes the next session that must less likely. We can't make this recommendation strongly enough: GET A QUALITY ANAL LUBRICANT.
Play around
Don't try to just start slipping in; first play around with the anus and the area around it. If you like the look of it (as many do) and are both comfortable with the idea, get "bottoms up" and expose it to the light. If not, fumble around gently in the dark. Either way, use a lubricated finger to massage the area around and at the entrance to the anus. If you are concerned with hygiene, wear a rubber glove or a condom on your finger. Keep adding lubrication and while one hand is "back there" the other hand should be loving, touching and squeezing everything else. Stay horny, stay excited, and take LOTs of time.
Insert a little finger
The first step is the hardest, so take the most time with it. After you are both ready, just hold his or your littlest finger gently against the opening of the anus and wait. Don't move the finger. Keep touching each other in other places and keep the mood hot, but don't worry about how long your finger is there. When it feels ready, push with the anus as if trying to have a bowl movement; almost as if you were trying to push that finger back away from your ass. Maintain a slight pressure, then build, pushing back harder, and when the time is right, the anus will open on its own and let the finger in. There may be a very slight cramp or discomfort. Hold still and ask him to hold absolutely still. Don't panic, think happy thoughts. That discomfort will pass. Give it a while and if it still hurts, well, stop. See the section below on Relaxing for other ideas.
The key point is to push back... don't just accept it in, press your anus out like you do when you are going to the bathroom (don't worry, you won't poo) and it will open your anus.
Slowly work and stretch
Congratulate each other on your first anal penetration. Don't move a lot, but explore a bit and talk about how it feels. Find out what feels good together, and know that more and more will feel good as time passes. Some nice oral sex can be just the thing here... Try a little deeper, a bit to the left, right, up or down. After a while, pull the finger out and slowly push it back in. Notice how the penetration feels better. Try that a few more times if you like. Keep playing and touching. You should both be really hot and ready at this point. When you are ready to move on, start by stretching the opening. Gently pull your finger toward the front of the body so that the anus is stretched and starts to open behind your finger. Go slowly and increase pressure as you are able. You will feel the anus relax and open.
My boyfriend started going down on me after his finger was inside... I was so hot I ended up fucking his finger and totally forgot that trying a finger in my ass ever even hurt - Cate
Add more fingers or a thumb
When the anus is open enough, slide in your next finger or a thumb. Continue to slowly work and stretch and be amazed and how wide it can be opened. We think it is important at this point to see or feel just how flexible the anus is. When properly relaxed and slowly stretched, your anus can accommodate even the largest cock. Prove that to yourselves before you continue. Revelle in being a stretched anal lover. Keep playing and touching and stay horny. Many women have an orgasm at this point.
Keep it open for a while
Work your thumb and fingers round and then in and out while touching, loving, and when possible, having a couple of good cums. If you have one wear a butt plug for a few minutes before the cock-in-ass sex. This really helps to stretch out the anus and keep it from tightening up as quickly as it will if you don't keep the plug in for a while.
Press and hold it
Now you are ready for an ass fucking. Find a position that works for you, there doesn't seem to be any one that is better than another, although a lot of women prefer a position that gives them control; on top, on all fours, or with him against a wall. Since you are taking your time and going VERY slow, you might want to try on your side, so you can both relax. Even after all that prep, take your time. Savor the feelings. Masturbate. Have some oral sex. Talk about how hot it looks or how it feels and how turned on this is making you. Help each other be excited while you wait for the penetration to happen. And it will happen almost on it's own, when the time is right.
Push BACK; Slip slowly in
When you are ready, push back hard as if you were trying to poop. That backwards pressure is the key to avoiding the pain. With his dick against your anus, maintain that relaxed feeling, and just start to push back, almost like you are trying to keep him out. When your anus is pushed back far enough and you are relaxed and ready, his cock will just slip in. There may be a little jolt or cramp as it first enters, so it is very important the he be ready to stop before he goes to far. Hold still, try to relax, don't panic, and just give yourself time to start enjoying the feeling. His cock will feel hot, very filling and may twitch or pulse a bit no matter how hard he tries to hold still. If the discomfort doesn't pass after a minute or more, well, pull it out, wash it off and check the section below on other methods of Relaxing or training for the next try.
Enjoy the sweet ass sex
Pretty much, that's it! Congratulations on your anal experience.
Do be sure to keep lubricated, the anus isn't like the vagina, it does not produce the same volume of lubrication. It's easy to add more; on his "back stroke" pour a bit more lube right on the opening of your anus and then shove it in with the next stroke; it won't slow you down much.
A lot of women report that not only do they have orgasms during anal sex, but with other stimulation (masturbation or other clitoral stimulation) they have mind blowing orgasms. Or they do if the guy can last long enough. Keep in mind, this is also his first time in your bum and he may pop off before you are ready. If so, don't be embarrised to finish off with a butt plug or vibrator. And speaking of vibrators, if you are enjoying "regular" anal sex, wait 'till you try anal sex with a vibrator in your pussy... And your guy is going to explode (!) for that one as well.
Guys: it is in your best interests this first time to make sure she has a good time. Pay lots of attention to her other special areas. Also, don't get all excited about getting deep: "Your nerve endings are on the glans (head) of your dick and the very outside edge of her anus. So I really don't get why most people do anal with the base-to-middle of their dick" If you cum and she wants more, give it to her with your thumb, fingers or whatever.
Aftercare
After anal sex, expect that your anus will take a few minutes to close. It might be a good time to go to the bathroom or take a shower. It's also a great time for him to reinforce how enjoyable the experience was, how good and tight it felt to his cock, and how much he appreciates your doing it. Ok, let's make that more clear: Guys, take the opportunity to help clean, praise, and appreciate this fantastic piece of ass you have. Say "You were great!" "That was just so tight and hot it was unbelievable!" "Thank you for trying this, I really appreciate it."
In some cases, you may find that your anus is a bit loose and has a harder time holding in the poo. Wear a pad, shifted a bit to the rear, just in case. Don't leave a butt plug, or a cock for that matter, in your ass for hours on end as it will take longer for your anus to close afterward.
Other people report being somewhat constipated, but it clears up in a day or two. Having a second enema on hand could be good.
Accept the result
Some partners just do not like anal sex. After trying it once or twice, and using this guide to help overcome any problems, if the feeling just isn't right; accept that fact and get on with other things you can try. If he won't give up on it, make him a deal: Try once more only AFTER he lets you use a dildo or butt plug on HIS ass.
You should also be ready to accept the other possible result: A lot of women, who have had GOOD anal experiences find that they really love anal sex. If you do, and you want to have it more often, be sure to limit yourself enough that your anus has time to reform between sessions. You will know, and don't worry to much about it; the human body is very adaptable and although it is possible for extreme anal sex on a constant basis to cause damage, a cock or so every few days is very unlikely to hurt you in any permanent way.
Relaxing / Training
After one enjoyable experience, or even a less than enjoyable experience, you may wish to try again. All the time you took the first time can be difficult to schedule or you may not have been able to relax enough even having taken a lot of time. So how can you relax and let your ass open faster?
Wearing a very small plug for an hour or more before or between actually having sex can help. Plugs are available in a range of sizes; start small and work up.
A (and we do mean "A" as in singular) glass of wine or other alcoholic drink can help one to relax and enjoy the experience. Don't get drunk. Just as a numbing chemical or topical sedative can cause you to not feel what is really happening, being intoxicated can cause you to do things that are actually painful without being aware that you are doing damage. The warming and relaxing effect of a single drink can help a lot to take the edge of any concern and assist in the relaxing feeling you need to make this work.
Being horny can help, but it can also make you want to rush things and cause pain. Have regular sex first, then try to stay interested and aroused without being desperate. In any case, many women report that having a vibrator on their clit while having anal sex really helps to get the anus relaxed.
Some people find that hypnosis helps. Either us a therapist and have auto suggestion message treatments for relaxation based on key word you can use or buy a very good book on self hypnosis and use pre suggestion on yourself.
You may be able to find a plug with a "pump-up" feature that is initially about the girth of 2 fingers but can be pumped up slowly. Practice and see how many pumps you can do each day.
"Once I've relaxed I can't get enough. I orgasm every time and grin every time I think about it afterwards." - anon
Being clean "back there"
First, it should be noted that the anus, including the area just inside where something is inserted during anal sex, does not normally have a noticeable amount of feces in it. Just going to the bathroom before play is probably more than enough and is recommended over any of the following practices.
Also, nothing that anyone can possibly do is going to completely sanitize or clean the anus. It will always contain at least a small amount of human waste products. The body is constantly moving material through the bowels and so it is entirely possible that some feces will reach the anus during a session. We recommend that you just don't stress about it and keep a box of wipes or washcloth handy.
If he pulls out and find himself covered with poo, just ask him what the hell he expected. For pity sake, it's your ass! What did he think was in there? What ever you do, don't you be embarrassed; everybody poops.
Enema's
The idea here is to inject water into your lower bowel through a small nozzle inserted in the anus. This is done while sitting on or near the toilet. Some minor cramping or bloating is normal when the water first enters. Take it slowly, and in small doses to give your system time to accommodate the change. Warm water helps reduce cramping and relaxes your body.
How much water Only a small amount of water is used as the goal is simply to clear the lower part of the bowl.
Once you are filled with a reasonable volume, expulsion will begin rather easily, but often stops and starts in bursts for some time, so plan on a "sit" for relaxation. If you feel like you still have water inside, but it is not coming out, you can stand up and walk around a bit. We'd guess, the first time you stand, you're likely to take a few steps and need to return to your "sit". We wouldn't recommend immediate anal play - give yourself the time to insure you're completely voided.
A fleet or other enema kit used an hour or two before can provide a clean feeling (although it does not make the anus actually clean) and may help to avoid any embarrassing accidents during anal sex by removing the bulk of the poo in the lower bowl. The experience is also somewhat kinky and many people find they enjoy it for it's own sake.
If you will be using enemas on a regular basis, a bag enema makes financial sense. Again, don't use anything like the full capacity of the bag.
If you are concerned, you can also get a bulb douche kit and give yourself a small flush just before play starts.
Laxatives
A natural laxative such as Colon Max taken the night before, may help to keep one cleaned out for most of the following day.
None of these suggestions is going to guaranty a poo free anal experience, although they will help make that much less likely. We recommend that you keep a box of wipes or washcloth handy.
Quotes:
I actually love anal sex. the statements about using a lot of lube and taking it slow are very true statements. i know for me it is much easier if there is a lot of foreplay involved. I think the most important thing is that both parties understand that if this is the first time for you to have anal sex that it may take a bit longer than someone that regularly engages in this activity, and understand that each time it will get easier and more pleasurable for you.
I have tried it several times. I do not like it at all, no matter what size they are.
Anal sex done right is amazing
I love it........... even when there's pain, that's half the buzz..... x
[anal orgasms] are fabulous orgasms --like nothing else I've experienced!
I have never had an anal orgasm. I have had a stronger orgasm from both anal and clitoral stimulation.
I enjoy anal sex, I get a very full feeling, on a rare occasion some slight pain, but I kind of like that too. My muscles tend to relax by the second insertion and and orgasm this way can be very, very nice as well ladies. Like anything else it is something you develop a taste for.