What men want is to drive women wild in bed. But how can a man do that if he doesn't know what you actually like or, more importantly, if you just don't enjoy sex? Women should be able to find great pleasure in bed, both for themselves; goodness knows women today deserve a little pleasure in their lives, but also because that is exactly the thing that will most please their partners.
We all know men tend to be egotistical creatures; they crave the constant reassurance and praise of those who they care about. In most cases, a little positive feedback will go a long way toward motivating a man, and there isn't any subject closer to a mans heart than sex.
The sad truth is that most men are VERY insecure about their performance between the sheets, and that fact should not really be surprising to anyone who gives it a moments thought. Where would the average man go to learn how to be good in bed? Books, magazines, or (help us) porno movies are just not going to teach him what a woman wants beyond some awkward fumbling and a money shot. In a moment of weakness, may have even tried to pay for an education, and we doubt he got his moneys worth. If he didn't have the advantage of an experienced, firm, and vocal lover to teach him the ropes, he is a lost lamb pretending he knows which way he is headed. And even if some kind lady did train him up right, she did it to her standard and you, well, you are not her.
By this point in the game, he is either fooling himself by blaming you for what is not happening in the bedroom, or he is scared to death that you will ask for more than he knows how to give.
So the point is this: He needs to learn how to pleasure you, and before he will be able to bring himself to admit that fact and accept your instruction, he will need to have some confidence that there is hope of your responding well. If you take the initiative to get fired up for him, even despite him, you can make learning a happy time.
We hope this can be a positive experience for everyone: you use this site to become willing and able to enjoy sex, he finds you interested and responsive and gains the confidence to ask or at least listen to whatever he did that you liked the most, and eventually to incorporate new things that bring both of you the most pleasure in a safe and successful way. If coming here can help to kickstart that cycle of mutual pleasure and positive communication, then your pleasure will also be his.
Men want to be loved by many women and feared by men. Basically we want to be Lesbians.
I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.--Elayne Boosler