The wisdom of the ages (aka punny Q&A)

How do crazy people go through the forest?: They take the psycho path
How do you get holy water?: Boil the hell out of it
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?: "Dam!"
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?: Polaroids
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?: A stick
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?: Nacho Cheese
What do you call Santa's helpers?: Subordinate Clauses
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?: Quatro sinko
What do you get from a pampered cow?: Spoiled milk
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?: Frostbite
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?: A nervous wreck
What's the difference between roast beef and peasoup?: Anyone can roast beef
Where do you find a dog with no legs?: Right where you left him
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?: Because they have big fingers
Why don't blind people like to sky dive?: Because it scares the hell out of the dog
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?: Sanka
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?: The location of the dirt bag
Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?: Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn."; A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!
What do you call a man with a car on his head?: Jack
How do you catch a unique rabbit?: Unique up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?: Tame way, unique up on it!
What do you call skydiving lawyers?: Skeet
What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop clop?: An Amish drive-by shooting
How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer
What is the difference between Normal and Average?: The Normal man can run a 6 minute mile, the Average man cannot.