James Great comments I feel it is okay to have any and all facial expressions and mimi-cry. I think the folks who react to this are are the presumptuous ones. To many people are taught that how they react to a situation is someone else's fault. If they are embarrassed, the other person should have gone out of their way to avoid "making" that happen to them. A good example is the word "n*gger" that would get me censured if I typed the whole thing out. In the presence of my kids or some close friends, I will use the word because it amuses me to see them flinch. Actually my kids do flinch anymore as they realize I am certifiably nuts. At the same time some dark-skinned, jivey jokester can use the word and it is acceptable. ( As an aside I have always wondered what makes someone a n*gger. Is it because they say they are one, because they have a preponderance of certain kinds of visual characteristics or what ? ) I guess I am a howlie ( http://uufnorthiowa.org/newsletter/2003/ may25.htm ). I don't feel like a howlie.... I don't feel like much of anything. I don't feel like a WOP, DAGO, DING, GEEP, GOOMBA, GREASEBALL, GUINEA, KANAKE, KATZENFRESSER, MACARONI, MEATBALL, SPAGHETTIFRESSER, or SPIC, although many of my ancestors came from Italy. I guess I would just laugh at any one who called me these things unless they were ready to assault me as well. Then I might run. Gus 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 On 2006-May 19, at 11:19 AM, James Newtons Massmind wrote: >> I hate face to face meetings because I have very little facial >> expression and people are trying to read my body language > and getting >> it wrong. > > And, as James will tell you, I have too much. > People try to read my body language and also get it wrong :-) I have similar issues, mostly related to a total lack of the "poker face" ability. If someone says something that I disagree with or have some other negative response to, they KNOW it, instantly, from my expression and quite often tell me that my expression change was violent enough that they are rather taken back. And in most of those cases, it was something like my thinking that what they were saying was generally true but not in all cases, or that their point of view was not including something that I know that they do not. E.g. I'm not thinking "wow, what a moron" but that is what they see in my face. On the other side of the coin, I know of at least one woman who thought I was making a pass at her based on my expression, when it fact I was just strongly in agreement with something she was saying. Verrrrry delicate situation, that... In business meetings, I have to concentrate on NOT moving my face while others are talking and looking at me. I once caused a high level manager at Lexmark to stumble in the middle of his presentation because he was missing a minor technical point and happened to be looking at me while making that statement. And in a support group years ago, the leader (a highly respected PHD) about lost it based on my expression when she said "Men have no understanding of a woman's point of view". Another issue is that when I'm around someone with an unusual mannerism or accent, I find it just about totally impossible to keep myself from "aping" them. It isn't meant to be funny or mocking, I just can't help it. Often, I'm aware of it and will stop talking, fake a cough, and restart after desperately trying to eliminate the mimicry from my voice. On the other hand, while I also have the standard engineers issue of focusing on the problem and its solution while being oblivious to the sales or personal implications, but to a much lesser degree that most other geeks I have worked around. I can generally pick up on when there is a valid solution, but I should keep my mouth shut to avoid embarrassing someone public ally or missing a financial opportunity. In general, I wish the world would stop making assumptions on what I'm thinking and just concentrate on what I actually say. But sadly, even then... --- James -- http://www.piclist.com PIC/SX FAQ & list archive View/change your membership options at http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/piclist -- http://www.piclist.com PIC/SX FAQ & list archive View/change your membership options at http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/piclist