Just from a newbie perspective, I totally have experienced the battering by a
few (doesn't really matter who). From MY view, yes, it is a bit discouraging
at times, and it can even be insulting - but I always remind myself that help
is free, and you can't have everything good in life without sacrificing a bit.
So most, if not all, of the time, it's just something I disregard and continue
to work on the problem. The point where it really gets to me though, is when I
have an issue that I have posted, and instead I get mauled alive about a
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT side issue other than my core problem. It's discouraging
because after a while, one tends to get frustrated with trying potential
solutions over and over again... and then when someone comes along and badgers
you about something completely irrelevant to my problem (lets say my
commenting style just for example), it is very discouraging because not only
am I being attacked for my main problem, but also other problems which aren't
really tied to my main problem. Sure, those little things matter, and I would
be MORE than willing to address those issues; but not while I have a main
issue at hand. It would be so much more profitable to me as a newbie if I got
my main issue out of the way and working, which then makes room for me to
improve upon the little bad habits that I have. I don't know about other
newbies, but this is something that I feel goes on quite a bit... to myself
and others. Maybe I am inviting it, maybe I'm not... just my 2 cents.

Quoting Russell McMahon <apptech@PARADISE.NET.NZ>:

> James
>
> *******  OFFLIST ***********
>
>
> > And if the newbies need to grow some skin, the mild grumping they get here
> > will help them in the real world.
>
> I think it's been getting a wee bit rough of late. The accumulative affect
> to a new comer of several people playing tag-wrestling on their case can be
> more daunting than we of thicker skin may realise.
>
> Onlist critiquing of others critiquing tends to be counterproductive (but
> can
> have its place). I've taken to sending occasional advice and "there, there,
> never mind ..." messages offlist. Olin is, of course, superb. But I wouldn't
> like to be on the receiving end if I didn't know him.
>
> One newcomer turned up once, asked a question, had quite a barrage of
> criticisms and hasn't been back since. A little digging showed that they
> also happen to be a frequenter (and recommender to other troubled teens) of
> teen depression assistance sites. (I emailed them offlist but got no
> response.)
>
> > Having said all that, the quality of mercy is not strained. If one person
> on
> > the list says something that you think is rude, how about responding with
> > "Hey, don't pay any attention to him, he just tends to be grumpy"
>
> I think we would probably benefit by swinging the instructional emphasis
> just a wee bit towards helpful and away from directive. Roman's suggestions
> were about right I think.
>
>
>
>
>         Russell
>
> --
> http://www.piclist.com hint: To leave the PICList
> mailto:piclist-unsubscribe-request@mitvma.mit.edu
>




----------------------------------------
This mail sent through www.mywaterloo.ca

--
http://www.piclist.com hint: To leave the PICList
mailto:piclist-unsubscribe-request@mitvma.mit.edu