James

*******  OFFLIST ***********


> And if the newbies need to grow some skin, the mild grumping they get here
> will help them in the real world.

I think it's been getting a wee bit rough of late. The accumulative affect
to a new comer of several people playing tag-wrestling on their case can be
more daunting than we of thicker skin may realise.

Onlist critiquing of others critiquing tends to be counterproductive (but
can
have its place). I've taken to sending occasional advice and "there, there,
never mind ..." messages offlist. Olin is, of course, superb. But I wouldn't
like to be on the receiving end if I didn't know him.

One newcomer turned up once, asked a question, had quite a barrage of
criticisms and hasn't been back since. A little digging showed that they
also happen to be a frequenter (and recommender to other troubled teens) of
teen depression assistance sites. (I emailed them offlist but got no
response.)

> Having said all that, the quality of mercy is not strained. If one person
on
> the list says something that you think is rude, how about responding with
> "Hey, don't pay any attention to him, he just tends to be grumpy"

I think we would probably benefit by swinging the instructional emphasis
just a wee bit towards helpful and away from directive. Roman's suggestions
were about right I think.




        Russell

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