Add these to the road toll and you may feel safer in the cupboard
under the stairs until mid-January

A couple of tips of my own -

This year is still not the year to tell the wife's family what you really
think of them

In your drunken merriment, don't fumble about in trouser pockets
while you're taking a whizz

New skateboards and bikes are for kids. PS2 action games are
not for those with creaky wrists - "which one's the mother ship ?"

Everybody back here in one piece please, Merry Christmas and
good holidays

======================================================

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled
out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening
bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.

and finally......... in 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing
up into the toilet!

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