> >  This is a true story from the Word Perfect Help line which was
> > transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.
> Needless to
> > say the Help Desk employee was fired, however, he/she is currently suing
> the Word Perfect
> > organization for "Termination without Cause."
> >
> > Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I
> > know why they record these conversations!)
> >
> > "Ridge Hall computer assistance, may I help you?"
> >
> > "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> >
> > "What sort of trouble?"
> >
> > "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
> >
> > "Went away?"
> >
> > "They disappeared."
> >
> > "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> >
> > "Nothing."
> >
> > "Nothing?"
> >
> > "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> >
> > "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
> >
> > "How do I tell?"
> >
> > "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
> >
> > "What's a sea-prompt?"
> >
> > "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> >
> > "There isn't any cursor. I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
> >
> > "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
> >
> > "What's a monitor?"
> >
> > "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a T.V. Does it
> > have
> > a little light that tells you when it is on?"
> >
> > "I don't know."
> >
> > "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord
> goes into it.
> > Can you see that?"
> >
> > "Yes, I think so."
> >
> > "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
> > the wall."
> >
> > "Yes, it is."
> >
> > "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
> > Cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
> >
> > "No."
> >
> > "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
> cable."
> >
> > "Okay, here it is."
> >
> > "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
> your computer."
> >
> > "I can't reach."
> >
> > "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
> >
> > "No."
> >
> > "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
> >
> > "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's
> dark."
> >
> > "Dark?"
> >
> > "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from
> > the window."
> >
> > "Well, turn on the office light then."
> >
> > "I can't."
> >
> > "No? Why not?"
> >
> > "Because there's a power failure."
> >
> > "A power...A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
> > still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
in?"
> >
> > "Well, yes. I keep them in the closet."
> >
> > "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
was
> > when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
> >
> > "Really? Is it that bad?"
> >
> > "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> >
> > "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
> >
> > "Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."
>

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