Oh, and I guess I have to post this...


  > Comprehending Engineers - Take Ten
  > **************************************************
  > An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called
  > out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
  > princess.
  >
  > He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
  > The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn
  > me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one
  > week."
  >
  > The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
  > returned it to the pocket.
  > The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back
  > into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
  >
  > Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it
  > back into his pocket.
  >
  > Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you
  > I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and
  > do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
  >
  > The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time
  > for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."

("Take 10" comes first cause it's my favorite.  I want a T-shirt that
 reads "A talking Frog is pretty cool" - BillW)


  > Comprehending Engineers - Take One
  > **************************************************
  > Two engineering students were walking across campus when
  > one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
  >
  > The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
  > yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman
  > rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground,
  > took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
  >
  > "The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the
  > clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
  >
  >
  > Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
  > **************************************************
  > To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist,
  > the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is
  > twice as big as it needs to be.
  >
  >
  > Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
  > ***************************************************
  > A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning
  > for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed,
  > "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
  > The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!
  >
  > "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a
  > word with him." [dramatic pause]
  >
  > "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're
  > rather slow, aren't they?"
  >
  > The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
  > firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a
  > fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
  >
  > The group was silent for a moment.
  >
  > The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special
  > prayer for them tonight."
  >
  > The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
  > ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can
  > do for them."
  >
  > The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
  >
  >
  > Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
  > **************************************************
  > There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all
  > things mechanical After serving his company loyally for over 30
  > years, he happily retired. Several years later the company
  > contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they
  > were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines.
  >
  > They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine
  > to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the
  > retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
  >
  > The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day
  > studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a
  > small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and
  > stated, "This is where your problem is".
  >
  > The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
  > The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for
  > his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
  >
  > The engineer responded briefly:
  > One chalk mark $1
  > Knowing where to put it $49,999
  > It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
  >
  >
  > Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
  > *************************************************
  > What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
  > Engineers?
  >
  > Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build
  > targets.
  >
  >
  > Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
  > **************************************************
  > The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
  > The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
  > The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it
  > cost?"
  > The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries
  > with that?"
  >
  >
  > Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
  > *************************************************
  > Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
  > possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a
  > mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
  >
  > Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
  > system has many thousands of electrical connections."
  >
  > The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would
  > run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
  >
  >
  > Comprehending Engineers-Take Eight
  > *************************************************
  > "Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
  > Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
  > features yet."
  > --- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
  >
  >
  > Comprehending Engineers-Take Nine
  > **************************************************
  > An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether
  > it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
  >
  > The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a
  > solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
  >
  > The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of
  > the passion and mystery he found there.
  >
  > The engineer said, "I like both."
  > "Both?"
  >
  > Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will
  > each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you
  > can go to the lab and get some work done."

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