I usually try to stop threads like these by posting the lyrics and sample
pointer for Frank Hayes's song "When I was a Boy":

http://www.firebirdarts.com/audio/rwboy.ram

     When I was a boy our Nintendo
     Was carved from an old Apple tree
     And we used garden hose to connect it
     To our steam-powered color tv.

     But it still beat that ancient Atari
     'Cuz I almost went blind, don'tcha know,
     Playing Breakout and Pong on a video game
     Hooked up to the radio.

     And we walked twenty miles to the schoolhouse
     Barefoot, uphill both ways,
     Through blizzards in summer and winter
     Back in the good old days.
     Back when Fortran was not even Three-tran
     And the PC was only a toy
     And we did our computing by gaslight
     When I was a boy.

     When I was a boy all our networks
     Were for hauling in fish from the sea--
     Our bawd rate was eight bits an hour (and she was worth it!),
     And our IP address was just 3.

     And you kids who complain that the World Wide Web
     Is too slow oughtta cut out your bitchin',
     'Cuz when I was a boy every packet
     Was delivered by carrier pigeon

     And we walked twenty miles to the schoolhouse
     Barefoot, uphill both ways,
     Through blizzards in summer and winter
     Back in the good old days.
     Back when Fortran was not even Two-tran
     And the mainframe was only a toy
     And we did our computing by torchlight
     When I was a boy.

     When I was a boy our IS shop
     Built relational tables from wood,
     And we wrappered our data in oilcloth
     To preserve it the best that we could.

     And we carried our bits in a bucket,
     And our mainframe weighed 900 tons,
     And we programmed in ones and in zeros
     And sometimes we ran out of ones.

     And we walked twenty miles to the schoolhouse
     Barefoot, uphill both ways,
     Through blizzards in summer and winter
     Back in the good old days.
     Back when Fortran was not even One-tran
     And the abacus? Only a toy!
     And we did our computing in primordial darkness
     When I was a boy.

(when performed live, especially with multiple singers around, this is
usually accompanied by ADDITIONAL patter, the likes of which has people
rolling around on the floor.  "You had DARKNESS?!  All I had was this
damned singularity and darkness hadn't been invented yet...")

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