Aha - more good ideas. I'll have to consider the options

Plan A (preferred, if optimistic) -- stop answering phone, hope job
goes away

Plan B (requires the BIG bag of BS) -- try and convince him that the
fast-forward rate he asked for is impractical

Plan C (what'll happen)  --  He gets what he wants. He knows it, I know it.
Resistance is futile, groan spit mumble. Ah customers, bless'em