For those who get offended by [OT] posts like this one, be warned - it's [OT] Please don't read it. Pleeease ... {I just know some people are going to complain about the subject material anyway :-)} {Quite apart from the bandwidth which is another issue ...} Anyone can write things like this, but this has got to be in the top 10 best of its class that I have ever read. I just had to share it with you. I've left the sting in the tail that it came with (and I agree with) too so sensitive types should consider stopping 85% of the way through :-) Enjoy, Russell McMahon PS - this is an [OT] post PPS :-) ======================================== But I Have Not Yet Gone to College The following essay was actually written by a student applying for admission to NYU in response to the question "Are there any personal accomplishments or significant experiences you have had that have helped define you as a person?" The author was accepted and is reportedly now attending college at NYU. I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. I write award-winning operas. I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook 30-minute brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays after school I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a blender and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college. This young man went to great lengths to convince the admissions department at NYU that he was good enough for their school. Are you among the many people who think you're going to have to convince God that you're good enough to get into heaven? Are you pushing yourself to accomplish as much as possible during your lifetime in order to prove to God you're worthy of eternal life? God doesn't pay any attention to our resumes. When it comes to eternal life, our accomplishments don't make any difference. Only one thing matters: Do you know Jesus Christ? If you've let him become Lord of your life, you don't have to worry about making yourself look good--Jesus has already done that. Edited from Still More Hot Illustrations for Youth Talks by Wayne Rice. http://www.YouthSpecialties.com/mall/browse/#illus mailto:wayne@uyt.com Copyright1999 by Youth Specialties, Inc. ______________________________________________ If you are interested, there is more information about The most important event of all time and how to be part of it. Send mail to mailto:dw-follow-up@gospelcom.net or go to http://www.gospelcom.net/gf/dw/dw-level2.html ______________________________________________ Daily Wisdom e-mail list. To subscribe send mail to mailto:Majordomo@gospelcom.net with the following command in the body of your email message: subscribe dw To unsubscribe send mail to mailto:Majordomo@gospelcom.net with the following command in the body of your email message: unsubscribe dw ______________________________________________ Daily Wisdom online devotional http://www.gospelcom.net/gf/dw A service of Gospel Communications Network (GCN) A Ministry of Gospel Films, Inc. Edited by Warren Kramer mailto:warren@gospelcom.net http://www.gospelcom.net/~warren