After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you."  The husband replied, " Yes, dear, but I was in
love and didn't notice."

Any married man should forget his mistakes -- there is no use in two
people remembering the same thing.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"  The father replied, "I don't know son, I am still paying."

Woman's faults are many,
Men are but two,
Everything they say,
And everything they do.

In our marriage, we decided never to go to bed mad, We've gone without
sleep for four weeks.

Before marriage, he talks and she listens.  During the honeymoon, she
talks and he listens.  Later, they both talk and the neighbors listen.

One woman married four times:  first to a millionaire, next to an actor,
then to a minister and finally to an undertaker.  One for the money; two
for the show; three to get ready; and four to go.

The Pastor happily told his congregation about the church's new public
address system.  He explained that the microphone and wiring were paid
for with church funds.  Then he added, "The loud speaker was donated by
a member of our congregation in memory of his wife."

People ask us the secret of our long marriage.  It's really quite
simple.  Two evenings a week we take time to go out to a restaurant...a
quiet dinner, soft music, some candlelight, a slow walk home. (Pause)
She goes Tuesdays.  I go Fridays.


Andy

PS.  The bottom one I made up several years ago.  Now somebody else
published it on the net.  Shoot, I could have been a "stand-up philosopher."

   \-----------------/
    \     /---\     /
     \    |   |    /          Andy Kunz
      \   /---\   /           Montana Design
/---------+   +---------\     http://www.montanadesign.com
| /  |----|___|----|  \ |
\/___|      *      |___\/     Go fast, turn right,
                               and keep the wet side down!