At the risk of hacking off those non-fans of OT posts, heres a guide
for troubleshooting computers from our Tech Support department.


>     Computer Problem Report Form
>    1.  Describe your problem:
>    ________________________________________________________________
>    ________________________________________________________________
>    2.  Now, describe the problem accurately:
>    ________________________________________________________________
>    ________________________________________________________________
>    3.  Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
>    ________________________________________________________________
>    ________________________________________________________________
>    4.  Problem Severity:
>        A.  Minor__
>        B.  Minor__
>        C.  Minor__
>        D. Trivial__
>    5.  Nature of the problem:
>        A.  Locked Up__
>        B.  Frozen__
>        C.  Hung__
>        D.  Strange Smell__
>    6.  Is your computer plugged in?  Yes__ No__
>    7.  Is it turned on?  Yes__ No__ >>>>>>
>    8.  Have you tried to fix it yourself?  Yes__ No__
>    9.  Have you made it worse?  Yes__

>    10. Have you had "a friend" who  "Knows all about computers" try
>    to        fix it for you?  Yes__  No__

>    11.  Did they make it even worse?  Yes__
>    12.  Have you read the manual?  Yes__ No__
>    13.  Are you sure you've read the manual?  Maybe__ No__
>    14.  Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?   No__

>    15.  If you read the manual, do you think you understood it?     Yes__ No__

16.  If 'Yes' then explain why you can't fix the    problem
yourself.
>    __________________________________________________________
>    __________________________________________________________

17.>    What were you doing with your computer at the time the
problem
>    occurred?
>    __________________________________________________________
>    __________________________________________________________

l8.    If you answered 'nothing' then explain why you were logged
in?
>    __________________________________________________________
>    __________________________________________________________
l9     Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?  Yes__ No__

20.     Does the clock on your home VCR blink 12:00?  Yes__ What's a
  VCR?__
> 21.  Do you have a copy of 'PCs for Dummies'?  Yes__ No__

>    22.  Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem?  Yes__   No__

23.  Do you have any electronics products that DO work?
>    Yes__ No__

 24.  Is there anyone else you could blame this problem
>    on?  Yes__ No__

 25.  Have you given the machine a good whack on
>    the top?  Yes__ No__

 26.  Is the machine on fire?  Yes__ Not
>    Yet__

 27.  Can you do something else instead of bothering me?
>    Yes__
>
Best Regards,

Lawrence Lile